So I went to McDonald’s last night. Yeah, I went to McDonald’s. Get over it. I had a show last night and I was too nervous to eat before, it was the only thing open, I had a bit of a buzz going on, and I love the toys in Happy Meals. Last time I got a Happy Meal, they had all the cool Kung-Fu Panda toys and they were legit (LAHJIT!). So I was excited about what was going to be in my little bag o’happiness last night. I drove up to the window and I see a huge sign for Kidzbop. Kidzbop!? Oh dear gawd. If you’re not familiar with Kidzbop, you’re lucky. Kidzbops are kids singing the hits! Hey, that Fergie Ferg song, “Big Girls Don’t Cry” is annoying enough when Fergie Ferg sings it. I don’t need to hear a bunch of off-key 7 year olds sing it. So, at that point I was not excited anymore. I guess kids must like Kidzbop so fine, let the kiddies have their dumb ole’ kidzbop. But then I noticed track one of the CD on the poster…

MUTHADUCKIN’ NICKELBACK.  Seriously, McDonald’s??? Seriously???!!!!!

McDonald’s, you suck at life. STOP POISONING OUR CHILDREN WITH THE HORRENDOUS TUNES OF NICKELBACK.

If you read the Internet as much as I do, you’ll understand.

http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2009/04/14

Yeah, I read the Internet. I’m almost at the end!

Saturday, I ran a 10k. After the race, I drank 8 mimosas and 3 shots before joining in a pickup footrace. Yeah, I ran 6.2 miles and was fine but 2 feet and I fell ending up with a cut, bruised, and black eye, a bruised jaw, cutup palms, huge gash on my shoulder, and multiple scrapes on the rest of my body. FML

First you must understand the original video:

Pretty impressive, but Rachel Harris is waaay better.

21 Accents with Rachael Harris from Rachael Harris

I’m a baby! Hahahahaha.

Do we not educate people enough about what 911 is for? Does it not get ingrained in our heads from the onset of elementary school that dialing 911 is for serious emergencies ONLY and it is not a play number? There’s something really wrong when a woman dials 911 over a shortage of Chicken Mcnuggets. I have so many questions for this woman. How hungry can you be? Do you have a brain? Didn’t you read “Fast Food Nation?!” Seriously, if she had any idea what is actually in that crap, she’d be heading over to Burger King for some REAL food (although Burger King might not have lemonade and that is a real emergency according to this man).

Once when I was 8, I dialed 911 because I was curious and wanted to see what would happen. I hung up, they called back, my mom answered, I got yelled at, I never did it again. I knew it was wrong and I learned my lesson. And oh yeah – I WAS 8.

Another woman in Germany reportedly dialed 999 (Germany’s 911) to find a new boyfriend. My favorite quote from this article?

“Emergency services is exactly what it is called – a service for emergencies – and not a dating agency. Having no boyfriend is not an emergency.

You know what? I have an emergency. I’m am absolutely terrified with the number of stupid people in this world. Does that count? Get Shatner on the phone…

But these people do:

This is one of those “it’s funny ’cause it’s true” moments.

This blog never gets old.

Neither does this one.

Drink everytime it’s appropriate to say “That’s What She Said.” If you don’t die, I’ll be impressed.


Here are some more horrible rap songs from the NFL.

What the hell is this?

It kinda makes me wish he was still palling around with Aaron Carter….

Nope. That’s pretty horrible as well.

Now my ears are bleeding.

Conclusionary,

I still find my blog stats (or blag stats) hilarious.  I’ll tell you one thing, people sure are obsessed with Scott Van Pelt.

I find this amusing. Google “manatees inspired by bobcats in saddles” and check out the 4th search result. Random, yes. But riddle me THAT will ya’? Who’s picking the keywords for that site.

And by that I mean 8 kids is A LOT. Ask Apu. Now this Nadya Suleman woman is asking for money on her website. I’m not going to even link it here because this whole thing disgusts me. I hope they take her children away from her because she is a nut job and an idiot. Angelina Jolie should adopt them all. At least she has the money and the means to take care of them (although I question her sanity, too). My favorite quote that I’ve read about her, though, is this gem. She told Ann Curry she was not on welfare, however, she is receiving food stamps and Social Security payments for two of her children who suffer from unspecified disabilities. Her spokesperson (yes, she has an effing spokesperson) had this to say:

“In Nadya’s view, the money that she gets from the food stamp program … and the resources disabilities payments she gets for her three children are not welfare,” he said. “They are part of programs designed to help people with need, and she does not see that as welfare.”

Definition of welfare – programs designed to help people with need.

I won’t even get into her plan for going back to school for her Master’s in counseling and the fact she is planning to live off of student loans. I mean, REALLY!?! SERIOUSLY!?!?!